Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
