No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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