We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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