I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
