You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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