They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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