:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize