Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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