never play flip cup with pint glasses
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
