his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
