So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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