I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
