i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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