Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
