Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize