you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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