I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have fence marks all over my body
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
