It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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