The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
