I wanna bring you to show and tell
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
