I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
