My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
