is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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