You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
