i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize