I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
