had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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