Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
