I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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