One girl and one boy is just not enough.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
