just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
ttyl tear gas
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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