She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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