Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
