barbara walters just said penis...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just high enough for therapy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize