David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You may now shotgun with the bride
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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