Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
