He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
