Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
