it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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