you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
