so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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