He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
