You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize