hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
