he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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