Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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