Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to calm my uterus...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
