bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
