How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
