You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I will be naked everywhere
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
