So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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