Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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