you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize