You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
