she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
