Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

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(409): View more from Texas

i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

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(703): View more from Virginia

I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Youre getting too old for this

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks

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(519): View more from Ontario

A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?

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