My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
