can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
